1. They are so “work loaded” that they cannot process the social cues you, and sometimes other interested parties, are giving them to introduce.
2. They feel you are a threat, and for fear of getting cock blocked, won’t introduce you.
3. They’re selfish and a bad person.
4. They haven’t made a decision yet as to which girl they want, so they are trying to horde the whores.

Idiotic Jargon Innovator

Common sense would indicate that it doesn’t make sense to bring more people to the party if you’re talking to a couple of girls, and to keep them to yourself. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. As much as I loathe to lend any credibility to a “science” that has been given way too much credibility by single young men, I will say this: Whenever you look like the “alpha male” it generally IS beneficial. That said, you needn’t start dressing up in ridiculous outfits, memorizing lines or “routines”, or start amassing a vocabulary of jargon including words like “IOI”,”KINO”,”NEG”,”AMOG”… See picture for details of what not to do.

Let me give you a small example of why introducing people is the best way to look like a total rock star. This series of articles is all about controlling any social situation. As such, if you’re standing next to someone, and other people in the group don’t know their name, they may be wondering about it. Further, if they’re interested in said person, you’re adding mystique to them without doing anything. Plus, if they’re wondering who the hell this guy standing beside you is, they’re not thinking about what you’re saying, and you stop being the center of attention. Trying to cock block for someone not paying attention to you is going to be a fail.

Anyway, by introducing people, you show women that you’re the center of attention. It doesn’t even matter who it is: Guys, girls, whatever. The more the merrier. If you’re confident in your skills, more people is not a problem for you. Better yet, if these people you hang out with are cool, even cooler than you, you look like a bad ass for hanging out with, and subsequently introducing, cool people to the group. Being the one to introduce everyone just makes you look even better. I can hear some of my female readers sneering at this paragraph, but, girls love to be introduced to other people, it just their social nature. I’ve introduced enough people to know this is true the majority of the time.

Now you may be wondering, since this isn’t a “pickup artist blog” (Shudder) why I spent all this time discussing introductions, much less in the middle of my series of articles. Done carefully, you can use introductions as a way to cock block guys, or girls, in a variety of fashions. It’s a very, very, versatile cock block move since it is so inconspicuous. Also, introductions often cause some social chaos, but with the skills you’ve learned from this blog, you can manipulate the situation to your advantage.

An example is going to make this the most clear. The other night a group of friends and I were leaving one of my more favorite drinking establishments. My friend had been working on a small group of girls all night he had a prior relationship with. They had grown up together, but drifted apart in the years prior, and were rekindling their friendships. On the way out of the bar, they were intercepted by some guys from “Brooklyn” trying to get them to come back to their place. My buddy walks briskly up to me and says, “Dude. Help.”

The most important skill you can develop for situations like this is to be resourceful. Looking around, I saw a girl standing outside the bar alone, clearly waiting for a ride. I walked up and introduced myself platonically. I say platonically because it’s important that this girl think you’re genuinely being friendly. You’re not hitting on her. You’re not hitting on her.

This particular girls name was “Dusty”, and she was celebrating some birthday or something and was just waiting for a ride. Once I had established just what the fuck she was doing there, I made my play. “HEY TANYA* AND TARA*!” I yelled to the group of girls. “COME MEET MY NEW FRIEND DUSTY!” Suddenly, the group of girls lurched away from the Brooklyn Bad asses and made their way over. I introduced Dusty to the whole group. The girls then asked, “So what are you guys going to do?” Clearly weighing her options about whether to go home with the Brooklyn bombers or us. We had a pretty clear plan laid out. We were going to take our beer and hit a pool just a couple of miles away. The other guys were being somewhat ambiguous. “Just come over our place…” I heard them plead a couple of times. Obviously, having a plan is a good idea whether it gets followed or not. In girls’ minds: ambiguity = rape.

Even after this, there was still some “hee-hawing” about what they should do. One of my favorite marketing principals is “creating scarcity”. So, I said, “The pool is only getting lonelier. I’m only getting more sober. If you’re leaving with us, we’re leaving now!” And we started walking. To our backs, I heard, “Wait wait! We’re coming with you.” They left the d-bags and came with us to the pool where we finished our plan of alcohol and swimming.

*Names have been changed to protect the intoxicated.

I hit the bars the other night to celebrate my friends birthday party. It was an uneventful night of drinking, and talking with good friends. As we were walking to the car after leaving the bar, a very pretty girl asked us if we had any cigarettes. She was outfitted in a classic upscale party dress, bodacious heels, and hair to the hilt. Puttering about was a guy that had been clearly driving what looked to be a broken down limo. He was taking unusual liberties with girls that seemed to be his clients. It drew my attention immediately.

Naturally, I wanted to let the situation play out naturally before I started asking questions. So, I waited as my friends fired off some questions. Apparently their limo had not broken down, but rather, shut down remotely after the owner failed to pay the bill. These girls were PISSED. The limo driver was a young guy, and was off consoling the two girls sitting on the trunk. He was literally sitting between them with an arm around each. It was at this point I could no longer ignore this anomaly.

“So, what’s the deal with the limo driver, do you know him?” I asked Tawny, the beautiful girl in front of me.

“Well, I know him from my work. He gave us a deal on the limo” She said.

I keenly replied, “You know, if it sounds too good to be true…”

Well aware of the irony, she hung out a middle adorned with a freshly manicured nail. My curiosity still not satisfied, I said “Where do you work?”

She challenged me to guess. It’s in these situations that I have what I would describe as an inordinate amount of luck. “Um… The Fox and The Hound?” I shot in the dark, name an upscale pub in the middle of Gilbert, AZ, a sleepy town east of Phoenix.

“OhMYGAWD!” She shrieked. “Trisha is a waitress there!” She flailed an arm towards one of her friends being coddled by the driver. “But you didn’t guess where I work” She said, tucking her boobs into her shirt as a mom might tuck in a small child to bed, patting them to make sure they felt safe. Apparently, this subtlety was lost on me as one of my friends blurted out “HOOTERS!!”.

Kid dead eyeing a hooters waitress

As I turned to give him a disgusted look of, “Are you fucking kidding me?” She chimed in, “Yep. I’m the bartender there, and she’s a server” she said flailing another arm towards her friend. I turned back with my jaw hanging open, having just put together the puzzle.

It’s at this point that you may think this cock blocking lesson is about separating the girls from the shady limo driver, however, he had dug his own grave before the night even started. The second that limo failed to turn over, he was done. I’m sure in his mind, it was the perfect plan. A limo full of hooters girls, some of whom he had a somewhat friendly relationship with from his patronage at their establishment. It had great potential in his head Im sure: some alcohol, and and I’m sure a destination that involved a pool. But, I saw him as absolutely no threat because he was the messenger, and when I tell you these girls were about to shoot him, you should believe me.

There were four of us, and I was driving my brothers Rabbit. So, I went out on a limb, like I think any other red blooded male would have done: “We can give you guys a ride home if you want, but, we are stopping at Filibertos, and I am getting Super Nachos. This is non-negotiable.” I informed them, being particularly staunch about my nachos. (I was hungry and sober) They agreed to my nachos stipulation, and it was just a matter of motivating them to move.

It was at this point, two guys walking through the parking lot started to rain on our parade. “Hey you girls need a ride? My friend has a super reliable whip.” He yelled, obviously afraid to make the approach into the group. This is important, because it shows how un-committed they are to the cause. The girls started to pay attention to these douche bags, and it was at this point, it was time to “Stay the course”. Staying the course is either moving forward with a committed decision, or making a foregone conclusion that something is going to happen.

Some people have commented to me that this is on par with “The Jedi Mind Trick” but it’s not deceptive. It’s purely ones understanding of the situation — mine.

“Well, we’re gonna head out, you guys coming with us?” I said.

The guys trying to bogard our owl girls saw they were being paid no attention to and moved on. There was no need to be macho and say, “Why don’t you piss off bro?!?” Or try and start a fight by asking them “Why don’t I whip you douche bag?!”. Great cock blocking is about complete and total situational control. Rather than try and start a fight with some random dudes, it was just a matter of making sure it seemed like the girls were ignoring them.

Burning down the house is simple. You bring the situation from zero, to extremely awkward in 5 seconds. Their are many different ways you can accomplish this. Sometimes you could pretend not to know something. Other times, you ask a question that’s grossly inappropriate for the situation. Sometimes, you make light of something everyone in the group knows but no one wants to say. However you go about it, this is a DRASTIC decision, and not to be used lightly.

There are two examples that come to mind when I explain “Burning Down The House” to people. For whatever reason, I find myself burning down the house when I’m with a girl that’s out of my league. Usually, they end up loving the confidence that it shows. So if you do it right, it will work, you just have to sell it. SELL IT!

The first time I ever burnt down the house, I was in a bar with a beautiful brunette named Brooke. It was our first date, and it was awesome. We were talking about nothing imparticular, and having cocktails. I noticed as soon as we walked in that she was the only girl in this bar. It was like a Tuesday night or something, so not the biggest party night. To our right, there was a big group of frat-type d-bags doing bombers of one sort or another. It was funny as she walked to the bathroom to watch the whole pack of them watch her go by.

After what seemed like quite a few bombers, their lead douche bag came up to us. He threw his arms around us both and introduced himself. I always work under the assumption that people generally mean well. We all talked for a few minutes. I tried to be subtle. I let him know that this was the first time we were hanging out. Nothing. I let him know we were talking about something really philosophical and asked his opinion. Still nothing. It was at this point he said he was a nutrition major. And tried to use it as like some kind of sick pick up line on my girl. It was at this point I saw her starting to sour and I noticed that all his douche bag buddies were listening.

Clearly, I was being made a spectacle of. Perhaps I was the victim of a bet or just general douchery. Thusly, I started to lock the doors and pour the gasoline.

I asked him, “So, [guys name], What are all you guys out doing tonight?”

He answered, “We’re just all out getting faded together. You know.”

“Sounds nutritous” I quipped.

“We’re just partying it up!” He said taking his arm off me but keeping the other around my girl.

She was looking at me to do something. I didn’t even know her that well, and it was clear as day. So, I set about to lighting some matches,

” Hey [Guys name], Let me ask you a question…”, His eyebrows raised in anticipation, “…Are you trying to cock block me?” I said, throwing the whole pack of matches into the gas.

“What? No, I was just…” He stammered obviously surprised as I interrupted him,

“Because I notice that you’re over here talking to me and the girl I brought instead of with your buddies. I also notice you have your arm around a girl you just met. Do you think that’s ok?”

The house was good and ablaze right now.

“How do you know we aren’t on a date right now?” I said. The stammering continued as his arm slyly removed itself from her shoulder.

It was at this point that three (!) of his buddies came over. I was a little nervous, worried that my cock blocking may end up in the knock down drag out bar fight I always envision in my mind. But, I was wrong. His buddies came over and took him back. They even, behind his back, informed us that he was drunk. (Shocking) He told me it was nice to meet me, and the same to the girl. He then told me,

“Yeah, dude, I wasn’t cock blocking you. I was just hanging out.” I just patted him on the back and thought to myself, “I know”.

The other opportunity I had to burn down the house was this last weekend. It was valentines day, and I found myself on a super casual date with a girl I had just met a few days earlier. It was NOT a valentines date. We were both dressed down, and had mentioned our disdain for the holiday to each other. As we were sitting there, another couple had come and sat near us. While I was in mid-sentence, this douche bag reaches his hand over and waves it in between us.

“I hate to interrupt” He says as I glare at him, and for that matter, his girl too. “But, you look really familiar as he points at the girl I was with.”

On a side note, I absolutely hate this kind of approach for a couple of reasons. 1) I don’t know whether the girl actually knows him or is just playing along. If she actually knows him and I cock block, I look like an insecure asshole. 2) If you’re going to cock block me, please for the love of god bring better game than “You look familiar”. Step up the game if you want to avoid the transparency of “Wow, this guy is a complete douche with no game”.

So I had to lay back while this idiot tried to run some terrible, desperate ass Valentines day game. However, for lack of other options, I let him talk. When he was done yammering, I asked the girl,

“Do you actually think he looks familiar, or were you playing along?”

She answered, somewhat predictably, “I was playing along. I felt bad because he knew me and I didn’t know him.”

So guys, if you’re wondering if this pathetic ass method has the intent you’re thinking in your head, it does. At this point, I was very upset. He was trying to cock block me with some D- game. So, I decided to put a stop to this stupid ass. This time I took my previous method, and added on to it. Taking a line from him, I said,

“Sorry, I hate to interrupt, but my friend here (Pointing to the girl) wants to know how long you two have been dating.”

His girl immediately confirmed my suspicions, by saying quickly, “Oh were not dating. We’re just friends”

This made it a little awkward. So, I started pouring more gas onto the fire. “That’s cool I said. How do you two know each other?”

Again, the girl answerd, “We met in class. We did a project together for the final” She said, emphasizing the platonic nature of the situation.

Not to be outdone, douche bag couldn’t resist asking, “How did you two meet?”

This of course, was my whole goal. I very gently lead him to this question, because I already had the answer. “It’s funny really. Our parents used to fuck. We were step brother and sister. But, then they got divorced, and now we do it. I think that’s the simplest explanation” as I nod at her inquiringly.

This guys face absolutely went limp as he tried his best not to drop his jaw. His girl went absolutely white as a ghost. Two innocent by standard girls stopped their conversation mid sentence to turn around and see if I was kidding. Now that I had their attention peaked, it was time to sell it.

“Yeah, you want to talk about a REALLY awkward thanksgiving dinner? Or Christmas morning?! Those were the times right sweetheart?”

It was like I dropped Armageddon on these people. Luckily, the girl I was with was extremely cool about me lying about us engaging in one of the most taboo activities on earth. Still, it was a matter of principal. I had to fight fire with … well an inferno. If you’re going to cock block. Bring your a game. The “couple” next to us finished their drinks in short order and left. The douche bag cock blocking me patted me on the shoulder and said, “Good luck buddy” as he left.

When to use:

• When Subtle Hints Fail
• If the other person isn’t “playing fairly”
• If the girl you’re with is a good sport.
• You need to be drastic

When not to use:

• If you could use another method just as effectively
• You’re with a prude girl
• You’re unsure if you’re being cock blocked or if its a coincidence
• The target is not likely to be surprised.

Open questions are an entirely different matter. The best open questions let the other person elaborate on something you’re already talking, thusly, giving you more things to ask open questions about. For example, you’ve just met this person and you find out that they are not from Arizona, “How did you end up in Arizona?” This kind of self disclosure is an important element in building successful relationships because it paves the way for more meaningful disclosure. Upon telling you of her cross country expedition she mentions she went rock climbing in Yellow stone. So this one little tid bit has given you at least three open questions:

1) Tell me about rock climbing! (To the critics eager to point out this isn’t a question, blow me.)

2) Why’d you stop at yellow stone? What did you think about it?

3) What were some other places you stopped? Did you stop at the quintessential pancake house in the middle of nowhere?

As she’s talking you can politely interject things to the douche cock blocking you: “You don’t rock climb too do you?” …. “You’re an Arizona native right?” These questions are answered with Yes or No. This tactic will put off most guys who aren’t completely confident in what they are talking about, or unsettled about talking to girls. This works for most guys and situations provided you have the balls to exercise conversation control like you really mean it. Subtlety is the key here, if doucher thinks you’re trying to keep him quiet, and he is half way competent at speaking to people, this will likely backfire on you badly

Watch out for:

• Even though you’re asking open questions, you’re getting closed answers. If she isn’t talking to you its because you’re probably asking boring questions, or she isn’t in to you.
• Doucher is jumping in and talking over the girl. If this happens, just let him yammer. Most girls dont like guys that are self obsessed or jumping all over there turn to talk.
• Doucher starts taking your closed questions and making them open ones. If this starts to happen dont let him yammer on, jump in with a “Yeah, I thought that was you” or “I thought I remembered something like that” or “You look like a (ski)(snowboard)(rock climb)er” and get the conversation back to the girl.

Most importantly, know when this isn’t working and be willing to abandon this just as fast as you tried it. I stress that all the tactics I write about are for defensive usage only. I don’t condone actively cock blocking other guys. It could get you into fights, in bed with strange women, and you in crazy situations. Use your power for good and not evil because with great power, comes great responsibility.

The Jim Halpert is one of my favorite methods of cock blocking. It’s funny, it’s easy, and it’s really effective. Communicology (The study of human communication) finds that given two contradictory messages, people will believe body language over verbal cues. It makes sense: Think about a little kid lying about writing on the wall. They’re antsy with their hands, and they’re looking around. You know they’re lying.

The concept of the “Jim Halpert” is to capitalize on that phenomenon. One of my golden rules of cock blocking is never say anything bad about someone else. It’s dirty playing, and can backfire really bad. However, if you don’t say anything, and the person happens to infer your opinon via your facial expressions, that’s fair game.

Let’s say you’re in a triplet, another guy and one girl. You can listen to the guy inevitably yammering away about something that will probably try to make him sound cool to the girl. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t need to cock block right? So, as he is saying things you need to do two things: Make eye contact with the girl, and critique things he says with your face. The third optional thing is to make sure the guy doesn’t see you. However, most people aren’t going to say anything because you sound a

little insane saying, “Are you making faces?” Especially when the answer “Constantly… don’t you?” comes flying back.

This method earned the name “Jim Halpert” after a character on the American television show: The Office. Jim is a very animated guy, and you can practically read him like a book by his face. Since the setting is an office, it wouldn’t be appropriate to ask or say things like, “Really?!”, “You’re kidding right?”, and “Holy shit”. Instead, Jim uses body language to communicate to his coworkers his opinion.